What the fuck, Alex. What the fuck. I think that is the sentiment from the 8 other players in the league. Seriously, what the fuck.

*Week 5 Review

It’s been a while since Rhett has gotten a win against me. Not a lot went right for Rhett. His DST was terrible. Boldin egged him. Single digits save for Romo and Benson. Playing Collie probably wasn’t a great idea but he’s been too hot to bench and Colston has been too cold to play.

Dave roars back to life with the week’s top score. Ray Rice explodes. Double digits for nearly all of his team. Good job picking the right DST from the 3 you own. Not a bad effort from Matt considering his QB took a shit on his team. Ocho is missing all the action thanks to TO.

Derek’s had an interesting ride this year. He drafted a pretty crap team. But somehow he has picked up waiver wire gold. Hillis has been a stud from out of nowhere. And now he even has Lloyd in there going off. He gets the win even though tons of his players weren’t playing. And a bunch of his starters were sucking ass too. Kevin’s whole team seem to be having a bad year.

Brian’s team had a big bye week but he pulls Shaun Hill off the wire for 21. Nice. Too bad the rest of your team didn’t do much and Floyd was on the bench for 27. Not that it would have been enough to get Chris. Chris must be thinking 3-peat at this point.

Tim’s whole team gets injured and he winds up with the second lowest score of the week. He still beats Alex who started 2 players on bye and one injured player. Tim is 5-0 but easily could be 3-2 but for 1 yard in the game against me and Alex setting his line-up. I guess it isn’t my division but damn, those married dudes must be fucking pissed. Just setting the other TE on Alex’s roster would have done it.

*Best plays and worse plays

Garrett Hartley gets his job back. But so what? The Saints aren’t nearly the same team and Hartley shouldn’t even be started in a 10 man league.

Tim left Forte’s 30 points on the bench.

Matt still doesn’t trust Z. Miller.

Dave finally dropped the extra DSTs from his team.

Rhett finally dropped VJax but the rumors of his return are increasing. I don’t know if that makes it a good or bad play for Rhett.

*Interview – Love the caps, Rhett.

Newsletter: Tell me about your draft strategy and some of the reasons why you drafted some of the guys you did.
Rhett:  FIRST, I WILL WRITE IN CAPS TO EXPRESS MY RAGE. KNOWING OUR LEAGUE, I WANTED TO GET A RB EARLY. CEDRIC BENSON HAS BEEN OK, BUT NOT GREAT. HOPEFULLY HE WILL IMPROVE. KNOW-SHO MORENO HAS BEEN KILLING ME. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I HOPE MARSHAWN LYNCH STARTS RUNNING LIKE HE IS CHASING THE GUY WHO STOLE HIS GOLD TEETH. AS FOR WRS, I REALLY THOUGHT FLACCO WAS GOING TO BE A MONSTER AND BOLDIN WOULD BENEFIT FROM THAT. UNFORTUNATELY, THAT ONLY HAS HAPPENED ONCE SO FAR. WAYNE HAS BEEN DECENT. ROMO HAS BEEN OK, DESPITE THE COWBOYS SUCKING MORE ASS THAN ALEX KETCHUM. I LIKE VERNON DAVIS STILL FOR HIS TDS. BUT KEV O’S 49ERS DST SCREWED ME. I THOUGHT I HAD A SOLID DST, BUT WAS WAY WRONG. MIKE SINGLETARY SHOULD ROT IN HELL. FINALLY, I PICKED UP VJAX WITH MY LAST PICK AS A STEAL PICK THINKING HE WAS NOT A FUCKING IDIOT AND WOULD EVENTUALLY PLAY. BUT NO…HE IS A FUCKING IDIOT.

Newsletter: Now that we are 5 weeks in, tell me how well you think you did on that draft. Disappointments. Mistakes. Brilliant moves. Etc.
Rhett: I ALREADY TALKED ABOUT MY DISAPPOINTMENTS. I DO NOT THINK I HAD ANY BRILLIANT MOVES. OVERALL, DRAFT WAS JUST OK. I WILL NEED A WAIVER WIRE MIRACLE.

Newsletter: It looks like Chris and Tim might already have their respective divisions locked down. Especially with Alex ignoring his lineup completely. How does it look for you for one of the 2 playoff spots?
Rhett: I DO NOT KNOW IF WE CAN ANOINT ANYONE AS PLAYOFF-BOUND YET. WE HAVE AWHILE AND INJURIES APPEAR TO BE RAVAGING SOME TEAMS. THAT BEING SAID, I WOULD LIKE TO PETITION THE COMMISSIONER TO EXPAND THE PLAYOFFS TO SIX TEAMS. I WILL NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL THOUGH. STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED. JUST ASK ALEX ABOUT HIS NIGHT AT THE “GEI BAR’ IN MATSUYAMA….

Newsletter: What are some of the moves you think you need to make to get there, if any?
Rhett: YOU KNOW ME. I LIKE TO MAKE TRADES. JUST PART OF THE FUN OF FANTASY FOOTBALL. HOWEVER, THERE IS NOT MUCH ACTIVITY OUT THERE. I COULD USE AN RB, BUT WHO COULDN’T. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A TRADE, CALL ME AT 1-800-IHATEKETCHUM OR, IN JAPAN, 1-800-KETCHUMDAIKIRAI….JUST JOKING ALEX, I DO NOT HATE YOU…BUT I KINDA DO….

Newsletter: So it looks like you will be 3-3 next week due to your bye. What is your reaction to Alex’s play? Sure, it is a free win for you next week but it makes it THAT much harder for you to win your division or a playoff spot.
Rhett: THE FUN OF THE LEAGUE IS THAT EVERYONE TRIES UNTIL THE END. HONESTLY, I AM IN A FEW LEAGUES, AND THIS ONE IS THE MOST COMPETITIVE BY FAR, DESPITE HAVING A BUNCH OF CANADIANS, EX-PATS, AND MARRIED DUDES IN IT. SO IT SEEMS DUMB NOT TO AT LEAST SET YOUR LINE UP, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE OPPOSING TEAM HAD TWO PLAYERS GO DOWN AND PUT UP ZERO POINTS. SO YEAH, IT IS PRETTY ANNOYING. AND I HAVE A FEELING THAT EVERYONE FEELS THE SAME. BUT IN THE END, IF HE DOES NOT SET HIS LINEUP, I CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I ONLY HOPE THAT THIS LEAGUE NEVER HAS ANOTHER MAPLE-SYRUP DRINKING, HOCKEY-STICK TOTING CANUCK WIN IT EVER AGAIN. BRING IT BACK HOME, PATRIOTS. BRING IT BACK HOME.

*What about me? (Ramblings about my team)

I’ve been pretty bad at QB and am really happy to get Roethlisberger back. I have to hope he doesn’t assault any girls for the next few months. Amazing how Gates has been getting so many TDs. Hoping Vjax stays away the whole year. Don’t be a punk ass bitch and come back. Charles is getting more touches. In a few weeks, he will be a stud bench guy. Bush is developing nicely too. I should have some very nice RBs in a few weeks up for trade. The only thing I am looking for is a super-stud WR. Not a lot of those. Many of the big names WRs are not performing that great. The ones that have been really good are all on Chris’ team.

Nice to see that Alex set his team this week, unlike the last 2 weeks.